Has anyone ever asked the hiring manager how they're feeling?
Good morning Hiring Manager,
I'm writing to apply for...whatever you want really. I'm qualified (fr, I'm not just saying that) and I've had a few jobs before, even more than you can count on both hands.
But you've probably heard that all before....When was the last time someone asked about YOU? Like how are you doing. Not in the small talk way, I mean like, how are you REALLY doing? Did you eat breakfast yet? Did you have any bad dreams last night? What's your favorite flower? Your favorite color? When's the last time you opened the windows for a cool breeze? Do you remember the Pythagorean theorem? Do you remember that pervasive injust feeling of powerlessness that accompanies so many childhoods? Did you make the job description with generative AI? Do you qualify for federal government assistance like the successful candidate for this position would? If so, would you spend your EBT funds to provide for a lover? Does it bother you that the moon rises every night into a starless sky?
In case you don't wanna read all of that, I attached my resume too. Alsooo btw could you get me an osmanthus oolong tea with grass jelly :DDDD 50% sugar no ice.
Best Regards,
That girl u maybe might get to know ♡
Author's Note: My current job, yes the theoretically perfect one that I spent a graduate degree and 3+ years of my life working towards, is such a bureaucratic, mundane, and mismanaged mess, sooo obviously I've been searching for a escape route. Luck and timing brought me to apply for a part-time job at the org where I volunteer w the community garden, and help people go fishing and kayaking sometimes. The job is a contract position. 25k a year no benefits. Of course they want a cover letter, so I'm writing one. But wouldn't it be curious if I sent them this instead?