Connections:

• 8.1-8.2: gay beach trip w bestie and alt girl, swimming out to sea, taking 400 photos, late night gay bar trip, walking around my new neighborhood and catching the bus back late...talking for hours the whole time, too
• 8.6 and 8.7: mediocre viet food w work friends and bestie + alt girl...impromptu trip to pick up my meds afterwards. showed everyone my fake news article and generally had a wonderful time. also everyone was so good to me at work. lots of frog themed going away decor
• 8.14 and 8.15: alt girl visit: food court, failed lesbian meetup, junimo-esque community center and night walk with graffiti and sunset to the club, phone call w bestie and her bestie, then bbq skewers and bing fan! And the next day was street tree care volunteering, southern soul food, and failed lesbian meetup at the beach. but the water was divine. too bad she missed her bus back but we had a good time!

Food:

• 8.1: bbq skewers from the cart w alt girl at 2:30 am...mushrooms and beef and fish tofu, delicious!!
• 8.2: egg tart bakery and mango pudding (duang duang) and moreee peanut noodles, hehe
• 8.11 and 8.12: happy surprise of shuang pi nai, obv not as good as in foshan / shunde. but good! 7/10!!
• 8.14: THE FISH CONGEE I GOT FROM THE SIU YUK STORE IS SOOOOO GOOD I CAN DIE HAPPY

Happenings:

• 8.9: joined a swimming workshop...very humbling as i was the worst person there. I made two tentative acquaintances. one hasn't texted back and the other i lost in the water but overall enjoyable. the tan line i got from the swim cap is brutal tho.
• 8.14: chinese painting workshop w all old people who shoved to the front and deliberately were rude about it. couldn't see shit and the instructor didn't seem to like my painting. but i did my best!

Sensations:

• 8.1: strong currents at the beach and also finally replacing our busted showerhead at home...peace on earth
• 8.12: night walks without pervs, stray cats and emptying delis and families eating together
• 8.13: asian mall goths / mall preps plus walking all around town looking for filipino spaghetti sauce, and books in chinese, and yang zhi gan lu. only found it with shuang pi nai, ironically LOL

Woes:

• Not knowing what direction my life is going in anymore, really. Except that I wanna be part of something...THAT I CARE ABOUT. and i barely care about anything. Missing everything but once I get it, never feeling satisfied, always overwhelmed by the complexity of what I want
• 8.1: getting stuck on a full af train full of frat boys for like an hr....also sand all over the house, but what did I expect
• 8.9 onwards: DEPRESSED! waiting for job stuff to fall into place. mostly lost my will to live bc i have no structure in life rn and belong to nothing. but we will get out of this. the terrible sleep schedule my body naturally favors gotta go tho
• secondhand smoke and trash smell on the street affecting my breathing FOR REAL

Art:

• 7.17: Drawing on the subway to the beach...lots of fleeting scenery too fast for me to sketch. But some silhouettes i did were interestingggg. Need to do more life drawing but omg...how to do it w/o looking like a CREEP!!

Connections:

• 7.15-7.19: Roommate dynamics interesting to observe anthropologically.....the other library worker being sooo sweet!! lots to talk about w her. Bad air quality sitting outside on the stoop at night helping my landlord compare flight prices to HK for him and his friend....
• 7.18: Torrential downpour w work bestie, claustrophobic trendy oyster happy hr and running thru the mall, reading thru the stacks in the library plus impromptu song and dance performance we walked into... then chatting w our new conference friend about everything wrong w work and right w the city and about our perfect and eternal futures!

Food:

• Buying so many classics on the street and none of them being that tasty. so much money and temptation esp bc it's RIGHT OUTSIDE but now i know. The Bing fan was ok. Cheung fen cart was BAD!!! What are the good reviews for!! A lot of the markets dont seem fresh at all....And the egg custard buns still decent but even those not as good as before. Red dragonfruit sweeter than heaven tho...need to keep trying
• 7.18: Stopping into a shanghai restaurant and getting crab noodles which I didn't expect them to have. omg delicious w vinegar. and free soup dumplings n dessert too. worth it after the mediocre food court food (sorry)
• 7.20: migraine diet friendly tofu w sweet and sour sauce for bestie, white pepper clam soup for school bestie and I...kong xin cai from her grandma's garden...finally feel so nourished and that this is the food I gotta be eating!!
• 7.26: Oyster party w alt girl at the hippie outdoor amphitheater...delicious both raw and charbroiled and I also learned how to shuck them!! ceviche was good too but not for the price i paid LOL
• 7.30: Oysters again w work bestie...happy hr, tried and failed w the crab dip...shrimp toast delicious as usual...also got a 4 star rainbow roll and butter pecan ice cream. came home full and after gossipping about times past and times to come...yum

Happenings:

• Getting two new library cards and just total weirdness at my new local branch...OK!
• 7.17: Swimming by MYSELF at the beach w the rest of da worlddd. Lifeguard rescued someone who was drowning right as i got into the water... first time ever seeing that

Sensations:

• Lying in my new bedframe old bed playing my switch on the new old TV. window AC lowkey hella comfortable
• Good sex w the same nerdboy as last month

Woes:

• Cyclospora to yeast infection pipeline. But I'm fine now
• The secondhand smoke alongsidethe climate change smoke and POLLUTION and how all the aunties and uncles on the st walk w no care in the world. But what did I expect!
• My longest friendships being more of a burden than a joy...again. mostly just need people who aren't still mentally living in high school / the suburbs or obsessed w suffering. Myself included, to be fair, (not rlly suffering, just complaining too much), but i'm getting there
• UTIs and feeling immense fatigue this time around w my period
• Dropping my summer grad school class. Only a woe bc idk if I'll get a tuition refund. But I'm celebrating otherwise bc I hate those people

Connections:

• New roommates all being cool funny smart whimsical af!!
• getting lost at the hiring event w another guy...and then later someone stopping and asking me for directions in spanish and me responding in chinese...LOL but we figured it out!

Food:

• 7.3: Shrimp toast and oyster happy hr w work bestie (4.5 stars as usual)....and then Watching argentina (BOOOO) vs cabo verde over steak slices, nopales, and pastor tacos (3 stars)...stopping for chamoyada + paletas afterwards but missing our bus and also waiting forever in line...not to mention it was like 104 degrees out
• 7.4: school bestie's dad treating us to pho, again
• 7.14: bing fan cart that also sells stinky tofu....so hungry walking by

Happenings:

• 7.4: bestie and her partner taking most of my plants from the backyard, finally feeling better abt the clutter. Also helping school bestie and her dad move into her new apt!!
• 7.12: Finally moving!!! And feeling more settled in the new place atm
• 7.14: substitute para hiring event being herded like cattle. Also in the worst building ever OMG. But getting like 3 job offers in a row was crazy

Media:

• Tomodachi life for the switch...enjoying it! Not quite the chokehold the DS version had on me tho. but I'm starting to get bored of that one

Studying:

• lapsing on canto but i need to keep studying so I can get on my new landlord's good side

Woes:

• Sleep deprived and smelly from my recurring DA. lol. always feel gross afterwards bc our chemistry is too intense. AND YET AWKWARD. at least he's nice. whatever
• 7.12: Moving woes w packing being exhausting, getting pulled over while driving the way up, and bestie getting in a big fight w the landlord (not her fault) while we were trying to disassemble furniture. And the way he assembled the AC was crazy too. I was heat delulu in here and it made me full of ennui but I'm feeling better now
• 7.15: having to come back againnn for a 2nd interview at this school. intimidated by having to do a teaching demo. also started grad school again after moreee administrative hiccups and IT SUCKS!!! i actually don't like being in school and feel it ever more now

Connections:

• 6.15: Malatang and citywalk. and sex for hourss
• 6.17: Making my work friends read my gag cover letter and they laughed multiple times reading it / said it made their day....litmag could never. Standup? Could never.
• Also first visit to the lesbian bar...no one rlly there bc it was a wednesday night but was briefly watching work bestie and bestie get drunk. also drifting in and out of hipster stores lol (the only way to do it)
• 6.21: Solid 4/5 Sushi + fried gyoza and night walk w alt girl. also the mystery trail of gummy candy on the ground by the chinese school
• 6.26: Playing w the kids puppet show at work and making the preschoolers laugh...FINALLY!! Esp after a week of incidents after incidents
• 6.30: New landlord calling me for 30 min in the night and we ended up talking about everything. Unfortunately (or fortunately) my new surrogate parent. Laughing myself to sleep

Food:

• 6.18: Making tea eggs for the first time...7/10, they're good after 24 hrs! need to cook them way less bc i like the runny yolk.
• 6.19: Snacks from hmart...salmon sashimi, kimchi (still can't eat too much of that i discovered)...also cooking sesame noodles, forgot how easy and delicious they are
• 6.20: Going to the farmer's market and buying heirloom tomatoes...made a BANGER tomato and eggs also cooking w rock sugar for the first-ish time! Basically this week I've been going thru verna gao's cookbook and trying to teach myself to make more classic dishes

Happenings:

• 6.27: chaotic last min trip to tour an apt...3 hrs there and immediately three hrs back. Finally done w my search and on the same day as pride too #LoveWins

Music:

• Hyperpop, always, and 2000s-2010s, always

Studying:

• 6.18: Guest speaker at our seminar was great, we went one hour over and it didn't feel like too much. feel like i actually understand more about HK history now
• 6.21: HSK5 class w bestie and feeling rightfully challenged...getting bit by bugs in my backyard afterwards and speaking about my study experience...then gossipping w alt girl together!

Sensations:

• 6.18: Getting acupuncture in my ears and it not helping yet. also this whole week been coming down w a cold and staving it off w xiao chai hu

Woes:

• 6.16: Not sleeping a wink, and feeling like I'm coming down w something...i missed my herbs for a day or two so it's officially over for me. Listening to music in the dark in my room is healing tho #YoungSexyNFree
• 6.23 on: bruised and sore from fooking too hard.
• 6.26: having a terrible time booking bus tickets for a last min tour bc the current tenant kept changing their availability
• 6.29: feeling so worked up over finding someone for my lease takeover that I ruined the next day for myself out of exhaustion. But it's all going to work out in the end #almostForgot - it's all for fun

Connections:

• 6.12: Going to bestie's house and stalking ppl on lint tin. And trying and failing to find school bestie's new situationship on the dating apps...
• AND accidentally butt dialing my old botanist friend but then she ended up calling back and we caught up for 45 min. Rediscovering that 2 years of distance is crazy for a friendship that was only 1 yr old. If I ever do that roadtrip of my dreams tho, she's my girl
• 6.14: Bestie's parents visiting and them being actually normal for once. Things that happened: eating VERY mid dim sum at 3:30 PM, buying sweet potato leaves and 鱼生草 plant from a store that is WAY bigger on the inside than it looks from the outside, wandering around the grocery store here, talking more about differences between 粤语、台语、and mandarin with her mom, lamb's ear and taking photos at the garden

Food:

• 6.3: Finally cooked the broccoli sprouts, a few cabbage sprouts, and the napa from the garden
• 6.7: Indulging my jolly spaghetti craving....ube flan on the bus home too and also found another good shaxian xiao chi place...

Happenings:

• 6.1: First ever drag queen storytime. One parent complained to me (fart noise) everything else went swimmingly
• 6.7: Yet another failed house tour trip, but people watching in the neighborhood is always interesting to me!! And the girlies who showed me the houses this time were so nice

Music:

• Canto teacher introducing us to my little airport...边一个发明了返工 and 诗歌舞街 SLAP!!!!
• Tiffany Day - HALO. The production is SO GOOD. the hooks are great. Everything i want from pop. But a shame that the lyrics feel very basic (to me)
• I LOVE HYPERPOP!!!!!

Reading:

• Above the Thin Shell of the World - Marci Calabretta Cancio-Bello AN OLD FAVORITE!!!
• Houseguest - Marci Calabretta Cancio-Bello
• Short King - Seoung Kim

Sensations:

• 6.3: Acupuncture actually helping w my mouth twitching problem...GOODIE! now i have to take omega 3 oil. as of my session on 6.10 tho i feel like nothing's really changed though LOL.

Studying:

• 6.2: Starting a new textbook focused more on kou yu with my mandarin tutor, and doing really well, esp after two or three sessions of being so confused. actually as of 6.9 i was quite challenged but that's fine
• 6.10: Learning about giving directions in canto and public transit...makes me homesick for 广佛线. 佛山三号线lovely too

Woes:

• 6.2: Evil and unsurprisingly stupid scamming landlord at 11 am which subsequently ruined the next 9 hrs for me. But feeling more normal about it now bc I have other options erqie Ni pian bu dao wo DA GE!!!!
• 6.9: Not understanding my lease...again. so I was late on rent and the landlord called me. Also kids peeing in the stairwell at work, our security guard + all the older crowd at work being mad at me bc I don't small talk, and generally being so done and stuck where I am with no clear path forward atm...

Connections:

• 5.22-5.26: #MyAltaTrip, meeting the uhaul bf, cooking and grocery shopping and organizing things, seeing the new house everyone shares, new music + collaborative art to chew on, and general vibe of "two asam autists who outperform beavis and butthead". riffing off each other, basically. can't wait to come back
• 5.31: catching up w my old high school friend on yet another citywalk, plus hole in the wall lychee pork + mediocre fujianese ban mian

Food:

• 5.16: Classic pho place w alt girl and school bestie, got brisket like my rich friend once removed recommended, delicious!!
• Week of 5.25: super obsessed with filipino spaghetti, lol

Happenings:

• 5.16: Witnessed a guy get beat up on the train, everyone ran off the train and the guy who got defeated sat happily on the ground
• 5.31: day trip to tour a house, drifting thru the neighborhood, walking accidentally into the children's festival, haircut, jollibee and banana ketchup, old haunts and new ones

Media:

• Still in a grip with Tomodachi life 3ds...yup

Music:

• 5.17: Whichever neighbor I'm having that's playing the fiddle for hours on a 90 degree day...thank u

Nature:

• 5.23: Botanical garden with TURTLES!! and native plants section, and roses, and longleaf pines
• 5.24: Blue lavender grey sky at the beach (COLD WATER! but ok once ur feet are inside for like 5 min)
• 5.25: PURPLE WETLAND GRASS!! on an hr long drive down to the island

Reading:

• 5.19: Newly enjoying poem for haruko by june jordan

Sensations:

• 5.22 and 5.26: 6 hr drivee...my legs HURT!!!! also started getting even more spasms everywhereeee. but going fast on the highway is my favorite

Studying:

• 5.18: 中国五岳（其实这次老师讲的话我大多都听不懂，这种话题不好学
• canto office hrs as an anthropological experience

Woes:

• 5:20: The age-old lost family leitmotif returns to haunt me. Also some buttons on my ORIGINAL DS!!! stopped working probs bc I walked home in the downpour w bestie...can't figure out how to fix it. laundry all over my room, canto class is disorganized af, I'm itchy, idk where im living in july, and it's already 11 pm
• 5.21: discovered my noise-cancelling headphones are also broken due to the walk in the rain....
• 5.22: Being 2 hrs late for work bc i was picking up my car rental which i couldn't figure out how to use at first. also being dead tired and not sleeping at all for like 2 nights in a row

Happenings:

• 5.1: Bestie hosting her garden program at my job (underwhelming but managable), then dropping all the plants off at the community garden afterwards. So much unpaid labor....
• 5.10: day trip w work bestie...tomodachi life on the bus, walking to the park, waiting forever stuck in traffic on the bus, waiting for house tour, getting to meet the ppl in the house...very anthropological experience for me....梅菜扣肉饭、煲仔饭、拌面、扁肉、长乐冰饭....most affordable day trip I've done to this day
• 5:14: Interviewing for a school that sounds so wonderful, and also getting an interview for a library job I've wanted for a while (but that idc about as much anymore. the salary tho...)
• Also 5:14: Meeting up at a newschool old school pizza place w my earrings friend and her ridiculously connected friend, walking to an overrated trendy ice cream shop afterwards and just catching up / discussing our dazzling futures
• Realizing, obviously, that my type in men is just dainty boys with sad eyes. We all know what this says about me
• Also school bestie getting the job here and gonna be moving soon! Song of the summer!!

Media:

• Week of 5.4: Kids playing new tomodachi life by emulator on the computer, inspiring me to do it...but i didn't rlly play the original...so downloaded it to my DS on 5.6 and gonna loop work bestie into it. Been playing allll week now. This game has me in a grip like stardew did like a month ago
• 5:14: 《带女花》in my canto seminar and almost crying when i heard about it bc it sounds like the old ppl who sing outside the canto opera museum back home...

Studying:

• 5.1 onwards: Spending lots of time studying canto, recently was jyutping and tones, next will be more conversational things I'm sure
• Also been getting back into studying mandarin using tv dramas lol. Talking to auntie who was giving me the house tour has me understanding that I still have a lot to learn, LOL

Woes:

• 5.3 and 5.4 and 5.5: urgent care and ER and dr for my mystery issues that no one could find anything wrong, had to do cat scan and bloodwork and IV and pee in a cup like 3 times and everythingggg, found out some interesting medical quirks abt myself tho...wore a gown in the bed...made me miss my botanist friend who i spent 8 hrs with in the ER when she broke her arm. feeling better now tho.
• The random sweats i got were crazy. W no change in my temperature. If this is a new part of my cycle I'm officially in a new layer of hell!
• 5.6: all the tech difficulties + inherent difficulties of a beginner language class w 30 ppl, not enough time to practice speaking IMO! teaching myself a lot to supplement what we're not rlly learning in class. the style is not for me so far. the office hrs were also a bit chaotic but more personal which i enjoyed...more...
• Sooo exhausted, my sleep has been bad bc of whatever's going on w/my cycle and having to wake up for work...i have the white hairs to show for it
• Bladder is doing a little better atm tho!
• 5.13: Acupuncture made me fall asleep immediately, I feel like it's not helping bc I move around too much and the needles shift. but i persist
• Neglecting my garden for my half-baked "intellectual pursuits" (messing around on my spreadsheets and in my notebook)
• My mouthguard for teeth grinding came and I have no clue if it's making a difference at all, LOL

Connections:

• 4.19: Talking at alt girl's place and on the phone abt living together this summer, stardew, her trip back home, travel, futures, her cats, and everythinggg
• 4.21: Getting closer with circ staff at work thanks to work bestie + Hangman game + open music studio

Food:

• 4.18: The japanese curry i made tonight that was perfectly savory and spicy exactly what i was craving...even tho i forgot to buy an onion. Anddd worth the trip to the store during peak crowded hrs
• 4.24: mango avocado pineapple hummus sandwiches w school bestie at the one sandwich place we like!! The freshness of the fruit was top. not as crazy good as I remember but still good enough to eat twice
• 4.25: Old school cuban food w school bestie, we got fried bacalao, butter bread, rice n beans, ropa vieja, sweet plantain, cordero al vino, batido de guanabana....absolutely everything i wanted and still craving it like crazy!
• 4.26: The most money I've ever seen spent on brunch...phone store guy bought it for us. don't even normally love italian food, but he bought us fresh tomatoes w mozzarella, fried calamari, rigatoni, linguini nero, ny steak, rose wine and bellinis. i was full till the next day lol

Happenings:

• 4.19: Last chinese class for now at the community center, the teachers made a big deal abt visiting me at work / handing out now outdated lunar new year goodie bags LOL
• 4.23: First ever acupuncture appt, and lying under the sheet w the lamp for like an hr...moved too much but the drs were kind and also know a lot abt bladder pain
• 4.25: Taking the bus for hours, meeting the mobile home owners on strike (being bought out by developers), walked for a long time down calle ocho, very touristy (heard it wasn't always this way), then waiting forever for two buses all the way home as the sky turned purple to black
• 4:26: Meeting up w phone store guy, him driving us an hr and back, catching up on life and listening to him talk abt his pace of life, walking around some luxury shopping area, whatever....not feeling like i was getting along w him this time and he was still too flirty w school bestie. flirty w me too but in a way that is just his personality. I wanted to be receptive but failing hard bc I think both of us thought the other was messing w them. He also invited himself over and i was at the end of my wick by 9 pm but good to see him anyways after 5 yrs
• 4.29: My first canto class, a bit chaotic bc it's 30 ppl in a beginner's class and awkward bc it's online, but i am persisting. Thank u opencantonese.org and all the resources from our teachers
• 4.30: First canto seminar, a lot of the language vs. dialect debate was already familiar to me and I know what I've seen and think... but some of the identity-based decolonial theory was new to me, lots of book recs that make me wanna sink my teeth in! Overall a bit generalized, but loving to hear everyone else's connections to cantoland and also knowing others who have ties to same place as meeeee

Media:

• Still stardew but going thru it more in waves rather than the previous days n weeks of obsession
• Watching vlogs of 九哥 in chronological order, also dedicating more time to studying in general

Nature:

• springgg, strawberry plant blooming by the neighbor's house, trees flowering, and the seedlings going off in the backyard

• 4.24-26: first time seeing the brown pelicans, also saw the sargassum blooms (result of climate change, must continue to investigate), heat lightning, ridiculous sunsets, lizards, raccoons, aerial roots, just watching the waves for hrs, HUMIDITY!!!

Woes:

• 4.14 onwards: The worstttt bladder pain in ages for no reason despite the therapy sessions. And not being able to enjoy my favorite warm weather bc of it
• 4.15 onwards: Getting decisions from schools + abt my lease and having to decide what to do w the rest of this year
• Still feeling stuck in my friendships and relationships and body and my progress w languages + other hobbies....honestly feel stuck in everything!
• 4.23: I have chlamydia. and have to get on a flight...bad encounter w "airport" "staff" and also threw up my antibiotics. woke up at 3:30 am after sleeping 2 hrs. hell on earth is real and it's airports

Connections:

• 4.1: School bestie visiting and talking thru her new job offer, walking around chinatown + the park above...fighting playfully abt it via her dad as he drove me back...walking out in the warm night w bestie recapping all her recent woes + joys and seeing the huge orange glowing moon...anddd the one textlationship i can stand w Alta talking abt old 2000s horrors fan videos, new beginnings, kids at work, our upcoming visit to kick off summerrrrr, and LIFE!!!!
• 4.5: Bonding more w one of the west coasters from my (in-person) chinese class, a whole class chinatown trip might be in our future
• 4.6: Last min trip planning w school bestie, hitting up the phone service guy we met last time, and renting the car to go see Alta too
• 4.10: Randomly stopping for water ice and meeting a group of kids playing on the street who thought we were there teachers...talking n talking in the night!

Food:

• 4.1: Acai bowl bootleg recipe from my old job even tho I'm on my period...impulse buying so much sweets too....
• 4.2: Too-salty fries w work bestie and our fave happy hr shrimp toast...also went "thrifting" and bought a cute new vest

Happenings:

• 4.11: Meeting w friends once and twice removed + insufferable husband at a now mediocre outdoor market, brief encounter w med school guy and his gf, then meeting of the minds at my house + stardew till 1 am w alt girl. None of these were very fulfilling to me but it isn't forever
• 4.13: Sweatshirt that says I Got In (front side, varsity letters), plus work bestie screeching in excitement abt it on the ref desk lol

Media:

• Tapering off my stardew obsession, but just played thru the desert festival for the first time...salmonberry season...ginger island...redecorating my farm which has been in shambles since i started in 2019/2020(??)

Music:

• Only now discovered sasami's new album...slugger has me in a grip but I still need to listen to most of the rest
• If i leave is the only song i like off nothing's abt to happen to me simply bc i am unable to reject a bassline

Nature:

• 4.5: Bestie and I trying to find cherry blossom trees at the park by the river...but instead we found magnolia tree, burdock, purple deadnettle, chickweed, buttercups, violets, henbit, and the pinkest blue sunset
• 4.10: Frog nature walk w alt girl into a dark swamp....and the spring peepers were SO NOISY!!! The sound was unbeatable but we got kicked out by frog tour guides...

Sensations:

• Having to be hyper aware of my pelvic floor but slowly understanding what needs to be done to change....
• Also first time w period underwear...enjoying so far!!
• 4.11: First time back in the kayaks this season...cold but growing warmer, a sunny day and WINDY! strong ties, paddled w the group downstream, learned a new stroke (kinda) and smell like sunscreen

Woes:

• 4.1: Being sentenced to MRIs and neurology visits after my ENT condition was finally diagnosed
• 4.6 onwards: Cursed by itchiness at night and construction of the ugly building next door in the morning....The fatigue and exhaustion is crazy esp bc I keep waking up IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!!! w my stomach or bladder hurting. Also the $100+ costs at this new dentist office is crazyyyy....

Art:

• 3.23: finally hemmed my shirt + pants that I found on the side of the road, remembered that sewing can be a delight, making things w ur hands always is

Connections:

• 3.28: Meeting up w a librarian friend, seeing her gorgeous branch, first time trying Georgian food, and her showing me around nostalgic parts of the city where she used to go in hs....talking abt work, my work bestie who introduced us, unions, growing up, double standards, everythinggg
• Anddd sleepaway camp themed housewarming party meeting like 40 new ppl, camcorder mockumentary recording, photo booth, group bonding games, being taken under the wing of a charismatic microbiologist extrovert, helping wash dishes for hrsss, staying over and not sleeping bc of the birds outside sounding diff...yep

Food:

• 3.16: Sleep deprivation and bad storytime + exhaustion at work, went home and craved japanese curry and ATE IT!!!
• The cilantro scallion omelet w white cheddar popcorn seasoning inspired by the stardew cookbook was actually pretty banging. forget the date
• 3.29: Ownership must have changed slightly at my favorite ban mian place, it's not as good as before but still was a decent breakfast...

Happenings:

• 3.15: Ppt night w my roommate (breakdancing), her friend (day in the life at work), and my earrings friend (historical choose ur own adventure)...Also my chinese class and getting fancy new workbooks and meeting two lovely west coast ppl
• 3.20: Aquarium and Oyster crawl w/ work bestie....aquarium was underwhelming for the price but sharks!! Horseshoe crabs! Poison dart frogs! And the first oyster place was the best, got dropped off in the hills for the mediocre second one...third was ok but WHITE!!!! last restaurant was stellar in every way...white bean sauce branzino + chess pie + cream of crab soup + collards + pomegranate short rib ...thank u chef
• Also wondering abt taking canto classes, liang laoshi could teach me...or i could take the seminar style...been working thru the hsk textbook that huang laoshi and fang laoshi gave me...
• 3.26: signed up for those canto classes.
• also had SWEATY car sex and got caught. Worth it

Media:

• Week of Still foresaken all my friendships for stardew valley
• 3.25 Finally got to level 100 of skull cavern and starting to get over it, LOL

Nature:

• Cycle of extreme warmth -> rain -> extreme cold has us all in its grip

Woes:

• The period of misanthropy i was going thru coming to a close...the way i barely remember what caused it and also barely understand it. LOL
• 3.30 ish Becoming delulu over this guy's perfume...I wish I was better than that but I am not!

Connections:

• 3.1 - Wonton making party with my earrings friend, and then a friend once removed + friend twice removed...extremely overstimulating viet LNY dimsum karaoke event, stopping at a local bakery, grocery shopping at a new banger market, visiting the friend once removed's beautiful house, gossiping and taking forever to cut the pork / do the seasoning, two episodes of reality tv w her roommates + the drive back home...three act play fr
• 3.14: Birthday party w all my friends here (except the two new ones) - I cooked 8 dishes for 4 hrs straight for 9 people and everyone enjoyed the food (ironically except me, I was tired after all the cooking), lost out on time socializing when trying to light the fire, earrings friend luckily helped save the day, gossipping w everyone....lowkey it was networking... smores!! fire smell, talking about fellowship drama and pelvic floor therapy and traveling and calling my scammer, laughing abt it and translating (too bad all the chinese speakers left, LOL)

Dreams:

• 3.9: Dreamed I was an old hookup who killed myself twice falling from the sky into an icy lake, resurrected and then found i was in Mongolia (but my brain Chinese-ified the setting, LOL, idk if there's that many din gai in Mongolia), and then I found a lost dog and dragged it into the lake watching it float along sadly, fed it as I went, then I dove back down and saw mini sharks and stones, and then I turned back into myself, and suddenly a bunch of my hookup's friends were there, and he was surprised to see me, and we talked while wading in the lake....also before this I dreamed about stealing someone's mini cooper back in a small town but she was chill abt it, LOL

Happenings:

• 3.8: First chinese class at the local church, controlled chaos with everyone being at a different level, trying not to fall asleep bc it was too easy for me, but liang wei laoshi dou ting nice de!
• 3.9: First pelvic floor therapy session with the most unintentionally autism friendly doctor I've ever had, finally understanding the nature of my pain and feeling some of it melt away was crazy!!!
• 3.10: Birthday at work for the second year in a row, getting cards from my coworkers, also party girl's last day for a while bc of student teaching
• 3.11: First day of chinese tutoring with liang laoshi, ecstatic that it mostly matches my level and that my teacher also speaks canto and knows the culture

Media:

• 3.3: first time ever playing pkmn showdown and losing 80% of the battles staying up till 6:30 am...still paying that price now
• 3.4: Starting a new co-op stardew save file with alt girl and playing for like 4 hrs, obviously...returning to my old stardew farm from like 5 yrs ago, too
• 3.14: still obsessed w stardew, LOL. still logging back into pokemon amie once in a while

Nature:

• 3.8 - Daylight savings! Crocuses and snowdrops and morning doves and mosssss in the yard, bestie helping me plant some seeds which i didn't know were not supposed to be put outside over the winter, LOL
• 3.9: WARMTH!! sunlight, and banh mi friend inviting us to the park w her after work

Woes:

• Week of 3.8: Sleep schedule still terrible due to last week's shenanigans, feeling the opposite of well rested

Art:

• 2.22 onwards: studying calligraphy 楷书 again after my friend twice removed reminded me it exists

Food:

• Veggie scrap soup again, even tho i accidentally poured like a third of it down the drain
• 2.20: Finally eating cabbage and rice after like two days in a row of giving myself food poisoning, a whole week of sleep deprivation, and sleeping at like 10:30 PM, finally
• Week of 2.22: So many cravings, and eating a lot of japanese curry, LOL
• 2.28: Chili oil pasta for work bestie's potluck which everyone likedddd

Happenings:

• 2.13: Early dismissal from work, driving to the mall w school bestie after her interview (which hopefully went well) also w her dad + his friend, chatting incessantly about our jobs + the city + language learning, flushing vs 8ave vs manhattan chinatown etc, eating at the mediocre chain soup dumpling restaurant and then wandering around the mall, "you wish" sweatpants and school bestie's valentines day outfit, chinatown and wandering around the stores, catching up and discussing all our gossip + musings on everything in the entire world. Then driving back to my house and unsuccessfully dodging the dads' questions about Labubus, etc.
• Also 2.13: Last min impulse hookup w a hot tatted stoner dudebro self-described as the saint of life. Rating: 3/5.
• Andddd 2.15: At my house. Rating 4/5. And making wontons and tangyuan and cabbage at bestie's house w her, her partner, alt girl, and med school guy
• 2.16: Baak tsit gai gym bro...kinda stale, but rating 4/5, and calling school bestie on the train ride home....and 2/18...you dian li bu kai de ganjue
• 2.27: Sentenced to physical therapy by an old Italian urologist who treated me w the utmost respect, beautiful views from the office, eating human dog food in the dark with the kids after 5 turns of mario party, and the lady talking about her foot antibiotics with no prelude waiting together unluckily at the bus stop
• 2.28: Lion dance workshop on the playground and getting to play the drums and dance in the lion head + parade where earrings friend and I got to badly dance along...plus mutual hating session + crafts market and art table where i bought nothing + running into my college friend from 2 yrs ago!!
• 2.28: Housewarming at work bestie's, lots of gossip and boisterousness, potluck food, watching my coworkers play mario kart, taking pictures w bestie and hr long parked car convo on the way home abt everything

Media:

• Week of 2.16-2.22: Finally finishing my 10 yr long pokedex completion project in pokemon omega ruby (my favorite)...
• But also getting into watching Gen 6 OU battles on pokemon showdown again (a memento of my friend in hs who moved after 1.5 years). Also trying to make a team I like and strugglinggg bc I'm only starting to understand competitive battling and whatnot...

Music:

• Week of 2.16: I miss playing the guzheng...but I gave my rental back to my teacher...
• 2.28: Lion dance drumssss

Reading:

• Bite hard is stillll hitting. As of 2/25 i finished it..ouch (and I mean this so complimentarily)

Sensations:

• 2.18 The snow melting and touching / smelling moss on the stone stairwell on my walk home, finally
• Week of 2.22: The crisp earthy smell of my backyard after the snowstorm, the water pulling, moon visible in cartoon blue sky in the daytime

Woes:

• Ongoing: What am I even doing w my life vs. total euphoria and folly, and cycling thru those two every 5 hrs.
• Also giving myself food poisoning + upset stomach a bunch of times
• 2.14: FOMO, or just always not being invited or there for things
• 2.17: The last time I'm helping with an interview for that person to not even take the offer seriously, and that's that

Concepts:

• 2.6 on: MBTI, again. I know it doesn't matter, but here we are!

Connections:

• 2.6: Clay friend + bestie and I making pasta, red bean tangyuan, reading thru cookbooks, complaining about work, and psychoanalyzing

Food:

• 2.4: Making veggie scrap stock for the first time...too sweet but amazing once I seasoned it right
• 2.11: Out w work bestie, had delicious tacos al pastor + rice and beans at the Puebla-style Mexican restaurant. Even better after mediocre fries at the hipster bar. 一起吐槽到爽了

Happenings:

• 2.1: NYC w work bestie: the only ones gossiping on the morning train for 2 hrs straight, extreme cold, haircut w my favorite auntie, 9/10 cheung fen, bookstores, craft activity + getting our hands scanned, 3/10 oyster happy hr, bus ride thru williamsburg, thai food and meeting work bestie's conference friend, and rushing to catch the bus home

Woes:

• Week of 2.2: Grad school applications draining my spirit
• 2.6: Trying so hard to get out the door on time and still forgetting my lunch, ofc on a day that public transit fails us once again. Also the nose-hair freezing weather....wild
• Week of 2.8: Morning and evening routines having to be structured around work. All the moving parts that need to be accounted for...breakfast eaten on time, lunch packed, bag packed, water bottle cleaned and at the right temperature, groceries, clothes laid out, shower, teeth brushed, hair brushed, dishes cleaned and away, getting off at the right stop, plants watered, bus schedules. All the time everyday.
• 2.10: Just absolute frustration at everything, ever

Connections:

• 1.22: Oyster happy hr and kulfi w work bestie, catching up after me missing a week at work
• 1.23: Meeting of the mindz, grocery shopping and carrying giant cartons of distilled water for the storm, calling bestie's bestie, gossiping, snacking, and reading our 40-act story together
• 1.24: Cool coworker driving me home from work and talking more about grad school, learning and relearning chinese
• 1.30: Speaking to the local chinese school teacher about classes and discovering that she's seen me at my job...potential storytimes + lunar new year handouts in our future?

Happenings:

• 1.18: NYC trip w school bestie - dim sum on 8th ave, 杨枝甘露, bookstores and window shopping in soho + east village, overpriced 蟹黄面, walking for hours in cinematic snow and blanketing calm, chilling at bus station
• 1.21: First online chinese tutoring session, not very engaging but I persist!
• 1.23: Got my new glasses. Best I've seen in years but they pinch my ears. Will be back for adjustments
• 1.25: Five act-play of a day. Act 1, trying to bring together everybody at 10 am on a sunday to play in a foot of snow. Act 2, walking to the park w roommate and bestie, tons of ppl out sledding, trying to sled on our plastic bin lids and borrowing real sleds from other ppl. Fell down super hard on my left side. Act 3: meeting my clay friend for kimchi dumpling egg drop soup, bonding over early childhood ed and wishing we could teleport, and watching her roommate play stardew valley. Act 4: Walking to med school guy's house in a foot of snow and freezing rain. Stayed over there w him and his gf for like 5 hrs just talking / lying on the couch next to each other saying nothing and watching early 2000s hk and taiwanese music videos a la 《我的少女时代》 Shared pictures of our times in china, his gf ordered me 蜜汁叉烧饭 and it took 2 hrs to get there. Exhausted in my bones. Act 5: Walked home in the sleet and got a phone call from my old work hookup. Talked for like an hr and still barely scratched the surface.
• 1.31: Clay friend's birthday celebration w 11 ppl, traditional dance performance at the museum + oohing and aahing at the gift shop, family style lunch at the roast duck restaurant ranting about the field w the other educators, overpriced matcha desserts, anddd making a new friend during a grocery run + witnessing ppl fighting on the train back home...(the guy was wrong), ruining the rest of my day on 3 sips of oolong (caffeine...)

Music:

• Point a by underscores, again. And extraordinary machine - fiona apple

Reading:

• 1.18: Bite Hard - Justin Chin (buddy read w Alta)

Woes

• Ongoing: Bad vision, transitions (mostly getting in and out of bed)
• 1.19: Cut my thumb joint with a cleaver....deeply :/
• 1.21: Missing my drs appt bc of public transit + struggle w said transitions, having to reschedule for weeks from now after another cancellation on 1.22....
• Week of 1.25: Feeling like I'm living a meaningless life. Overwhelmed by the steps I need to take to make it more meaningful (chinese class, grad school applications...) Also...walking everywhere in the snow...cuz damn...

Connections:

• 1.1: Alt girl's house + writing the story + playing w the cats and roasting butternut squashes + laundry
• 1.5: Bestie+her bestie in town, plus Alt girl visiting at work to work on the story + my house to pick up all my extra food
• 1.6: Plotting, scheming, and poeticizing with bestie's bestie (halloween hangover + sharing my bearblog)
• 1.7 Running serendipitiously and coincidentally into med school guy as bestie, her bestie, and alt girl and I were driving along, going to the board game cafe together, and then gift exchange + surprising bestie w our laborious story (we read 2 plotlines)

Food:

• 1.1 CHILAQUILESSSS. avocado, black beans, queso fresco, egg. tried the red salsa and confirmed i prefer green
• 1.5 coworker made perfect chocolate cake w cream cheese frosting
• 1.6 Butternut squash sauce pasta + bitter broccoli rabe that bestie's partner made
• 1.9 Ordered takeout - birria tacos and enchiladas w salsa verde, lasted two meals, both delicious
• 1.11 First time making egg drop soup

Happenings:

• 1.1: Alt girl's house + playing w the cats and roasting squashes + laundry
• 1.4: Bestie's parents visit - vegan dim sum, picture sharing, parking + passport + car repair and learning how to copy/paste shenanigans. Craziness level stayed at like a solid 30%
• Whole week of 1.4: Weird dreams, ex: old house with trapeze net and hs bestie's stuff, driving around gossiping abt college classmates, ocean full of starfish, etc.
• 1.8: Eye appt at this campy glasses place, getting my eyes dilated and my vision feeling weird, twinkling, overstimulating

Media:

• Video games: Pokemon Heartgold (my sickness game since when I had covid in 2024), Mario Party DS + Puzzle party minigame

Woes:

• Week of 1.1: Misanthropy. Feeling like I'm in a social cesspool of mental illness / 内耗 and wanting to sabotage all my relationships againnnn but also wishing I was more extroverted / adept w ppl. Some difficulty trusting that it'll come in time.
• Whatever's going on w my digestive system
• Week of 1.4: Messing up my sleep schedule bc I want to pursue whimsy. Againnn but trying to fix it
• 1.10-1.17 Staying home plans canceled sick af...after already being sick for a whole month. Staying home from work was nice tho.

Connections:

• 12.23: "You haven't sold out...YET" w work bestie and making our office clerk laugh at work
• 12.25 onwards: phone calls to help alleviate bestie of cabin fever while sick w mystery ailment
• 12.29 and 12.30: gossiping more w my ecstatically hip coworker while work bestie is on vacation
• 12.31: making nonsense gestures to the circ staff at work and the nerdy one taking it seriously and looking up naval hand signals
• 1.1: Alt girl's house + playing w the cats and roasting butternut squashes + laundry

Food:

• 12.23: gai lan, eggplants w garlic and ginger, frozen soup dumplings w vinegar and lao gan ma. all so good in combination
• 12.25: Roommate's crispy tart with plant-based beef crumbles + cream cheese. Tu dou si that just gets better. 6/10 steamed egg.
• 12.27 Bought myself a bunch of groceries to make noodle soup w a hotpot sauce. Failed and it was disgusting, also the immediate jeet hay / shang huo, LOL. ate a perfect white peach afterwards tho

Happenings:

• 12.25 - Roommate hosted fancy dinner for her outgoing friend w corporate job moving cross-country. They liked my food too. Also tried and failed to train her dumb cat.
• 12.31 - Meeting of the minds: gift exchange and trying to stay up till new years 12 am

Connections:

• 12.15 Phone call bestie's bestie - Text message overanalysis & writing into the night.
• 12.16 Alt girl - "podcasting" over the phone and then tamale blanket writing at my place.
• 12.18 Phone calling w my very own romance scammer. (More than one day but I forget)
• 12.19 Tragically hip birthday party of zillenials with white partners - neutral toned fashion, watching them break for cigarettes, fruit rind chocolate cake, halfhearted small-talk, fullhearted gossip.
• 12.20 Holiday party hosted by cybersecurity friend. All our hometown friends including those visiting from suburbia, plus my roommate, and cs friend's assortment of normie dudebros. Stayed till midnight, ate pasta that made me and school bestie gassy, and played Duel card game. Gladly embarrassed myself and others.
• 12.21 Spontaneous surprise holiday lights drive. Being the emotional trashcan about love, crushes, gender, work, mental health, etc. Galloping by the river and the lights.

Food:

• 土豆丝 cravingsss

Sounds:

• 广佛地铁列车广播 （还有深圳四号线的广播，因为YouTube上没有广佛线的）
• Emphatic "No No No" ghostfighting
• Indulging in my typical autistic actions
• Last week's whims still track

Woes:

• Ongoing: Planning for the rest of my life. Trying too hard to solve other people's problems.
• Week of 12.14: Wanting to self-sabotage all my relationships.

Connections:

• 12.1 - 12.2 南海 - CCTV, pharmacies, fruit markets, 泥鳅，菜心，螃蟹，凉茶，long sleeve clothes, getting guasha-ed, long naps, being called 小朋友
• 12.5: Anthropological white brunch - shrinkflation grocery store, djinns, language + grammar, communication, psychics, dreams, streetlife, jobs, religion, spirituality.
• 12.6: Meeting of the minds - animal welfare final paper, community college application, photo recap.
• 12.7: New apt tour, cats, collaborative writing outline.
• 12.15: Bestie - Thoughts Wrapped and other expressions of earnestness.

Food:

• 12.6 - Garlic eggplant, steamed egg
• 12.7 - Japanese curry. And first time trying gnocchi
• 12.10 - Eggplant + tofu w extra garlic and scallions. Ginger and red dates.
• 12.13 - First time making steamed crab by myself. Frozen haa gaau. Best cabbage of the last few months.

Happenings:

• 12.8 - First day back at work - Video game tournament finals, our kids lost first round.
• 12.9 onwards - Bonding w my other Zilennial / early Gen Z coworkers and one of our teen interns.
• 12.12 - Another visit to the TCM pharmacy + getting a prescription that is finally helping me get over this two-week long sickness
• 12.15 - Truth or drink normie card game + takeout night w roommate, upstairs neighbors, and two friends.

Music:

• Honestly, just a lot of all-chorus KTV songs like 《当你》《跳楼机》andddd for a slower one i like 《AYOU》 by 叶子舒

Reading:

• The Mills - Eric Yip
• Recovering Talkalakh - Nur Turkmani

Woes:

• Ongoing: Transit delays, bladder, tinnitus?, individualist society, short-term memory. Planning for the rest of my life.
• Week of 12.7: Western healthcare - treatment methods, payment.